To visit a strip club is not to objectify women; for as long as commercial sexuality exists women, and to a lesser extent, men, will be objectified. The goal of visiting a strip club is: To assuage the sexual desire by seeing some titties.
Yet it is crucial to follow certain protocol in order not to offend, come off as a creep, or discourage interaction between the strippers and yourself. Remember that these women are entertainers. Put thoughts of what they do and what led them to this profession out of your head. Unless you find yourself conversing with a stripper and the sadness and shame in her eyes is overwhelming and you find yourself willing to open your heart to her, do not ask about her background or what led her to this club. But that is usually for more advanced strip club-goers. Let’s start from square one.
Sitting at a table
In most strip clubs a one dollar per dance practice is mandatory to sit around the pole. It is good form to fold your dollar bill hot dog style and slide it toward the edge of the table. For a titty shake or any kind of special attention, at most clubs, a five or ten dollar bill will get you close enough to smell the stripper, although if you are so desperate, probably better to save that tenner and put it toward a lap dance.
Always get a drink. It adds to the good-natured feeling of the club, and makes the performance less about seeing naked women and more about having a good time in the presence of naked women. This will also disarm the stripper, to make her want your attention more, since after all, this is her goal—to hold mens’ attention with what her mama gave her and thereby lure more and more dollars out of their wallets. But by ignoring the stripper, or pretending to look bored, she will want to perform all the better, to impress, to gain and keep your attention. This is when it is crucial to simply glance at her naked body without focusing on any obvious points of interest, and most importantly watch her face. If possible, make eye contact with her. This shows her that you are interested in her humanity, which in distinction from the truckers, pervs, and female-starved lurkers around you, can possibly arouse her. That said, only do this with strippers you would want to purchase a lap dance from. More about this below.
Making it rain
Casual strip club-goers are conscious of the importance of making it rain in ensuring their status as patron of an art that has evolved from the world’s oldest profession, into a much more glamorous and acrobatic occupation, i.e. bossin’ up in front of some bitches. As such, an occasional flash of opulence alerts both strippers and other patrons of the club to a rainmaker’s importance.
There are two ways of making it rain. The first is more intimate and less ostentatious. It is the flush, also known as the waterfall. Stand while holding a stack of bills in your dominant hand, preferably over a stripper while she is dancing in front of you. Then with your other hand, rapidly flush dollar bills over her body until your stack is spent. Make sure to reach over her, so as not to have to pick up bills that accidentally flutter to your side of the table.
The second way of making it rain is the downpour, more commonly seen in rap videos. Start by fanning your stack of ones. Lean over the stage and with some elbow put into it, throw your money out and over the stripper. While it is easy to do this with a large stack, it can also be done effectively with a smaller stack. Making it rain with less than ten dollars is a drizzle. While less startling, it will be just as appreciated, especially when done with frequency over the course of a night.
The lapdance
Lapdances can range in price dramatically, from $25 to $100, depending on the club. It is ideal to have a lapdance from the stripper with whom you have already established a connection, whether by making it rain on her or by teasing her with sporadic eye contact. At this point, she will be more than willing to take more of your money for the next five minutes by grinding on you. Very rarely will a stripper be turned on by giving a lapdance, although the occasions of falling in love with a stripper usually occur at this juncture, before, during, or even after the lapdance, in the champagne room.
Do not touch the stripper and never kiss her. You do not know where her mouth has been. Unless you are a club regular and you are familiar with your stripper of choice, both of these rules cannot be broken. That said, if you are paying enough money or have enough alcohol in your blood stream, it will be difficult to resist touching her. Be aware that it is a no-no, but if you find yourself unable to resist, use your words. Ask your stripper if it is okay, and remember that she is a human being too, and is much more likely to respond in the affirmative if she feels a rapport with you.
If still desirous of more personal attention from your stripper, there may be the chance for a trip to the champagne room. This is pricey, however, and unless at a bachelor party, a good place to be taken for a ride and wind up spending a lot of money. Some strip clubs are seedy places and some strippers are hustlers. This is their job after all, and at grimier, more brothel-style club, strippers are more likely to milk you for an extra few bucks by promising something and not keeping their word. Bear this, and all other information included in this post, in mind when visiting a strip club of your choice. Good luck.
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